Little Bastards

The first of my regular daily posts. This is just something random I wrote one day.

Little Bastards! You’ve probably seen one. If you did you wouldn’t remember. Those creepy Little Bastards. Now, nobody really remembers but deep down everybody carries within them a strong race memory of those mysterious Little Bastards.

I have an especially strong sense for Little Bastards and I have come to learn a thing or two about them.

Nobody really knows where they came from but one thing we do know is that they loved waste. Any kind of waste product or waste matter – they love it! Anything Human Beings disregard – they wanted it, they ate it. Of course people regarded them as a (sometimes literal) God-send. Can you imagine how beneficial it was to have invisible critters literally eat anything you didn’t need? Countries won back acres of space from landfill. Beaches and forests were clear of any waste matter. They even emptied the sewers. They called them Little Heroes.

You’d sometimes try this yourself – sit and watch a pile of rubbish and try to spot one them. Many tried in vain many different ways to observe the invisible, perhaps microscopic Little Heroes, observe how they simply ate matter. Fact is, the second you diverted your attention, in the instant the waste went unnoticed – it was gone. Gone for good, gone for food! Nobody has ever seen or observed the effects of these little things. It was strange to be sure but it seemed the rewards were just too great for anyone to really care.

It didn’t last. Some big businesses got together and decided to sell the Little Heroes. In order to do this they had to limit people’s access and they did this by “controlling their numbers”. In other words killing them.

Just one small problem; They couldn’t be killed. How can you kill something you know nothing about, that you can’t even see?

Feeling threatened, the Little Heroes suddenly began to multiply a thousand fold. It was like they’d sensed danger and multiplied exponentially to survive. Soon a normal suburban 1 bedroom dwelling could have anything up to one hundred Little Heroes, and all of them very hungry.

With so many of them now competing for our waste it wasn’t long before they got into fights with each other. They’d sit at your feet waiting for you to discard something – anything! They were a menace. They were a pest. These damn things weren’t Little Heroes. They were Little Bastards!

Then suddenly – miraculously they vanished. Not all of them but nearly. Nobody knows where they came from and nobody knows where they went. And most people forgot all about them.

You probably want to know how I can remember. I mentioned race memory. I see all that history flooding into my mind because I’ve got a Little Bastard atop my laptop. I see him. He’s waiting for me to discard something, then he’ll take it and I’ll forget. That’s how this works! He’ll take anything. A thread of cotton? A button, possibly? Or if he’s really hungry a single hair from atop my head.

Little Bastards! They’re everywhere!

Copyright Martin Gregory

1st August 2018

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